What goes around comes around – Saturn, time and Frances Ha

Frances Ha is a film co-authored by Greta Gerwig (Frances) and Noah Baumbach.  Frances aspires to be a professional dancer, interning with a modern dance troupe in New York City, hoping for an invitation to join the company as a full-time member. But Frances, who is 27, lives hand to mouth and sees her options dwindling. This period (27-30) can be among the most creative times of life, Shelly's Mirrorcoinciding with the return of Saturn‘s birth position in one’s astrological chart.  The natal and progressed charts are maps of the psyche as it unfolds in time.  Pioneers Dane Rudhyar and Carl Jung used psychological astrology to reveal the Self as a path for becoming whole, building on a tradition that has historic roots around the world.  I am now approaching my second Saturn return and facing another widening field of possibilities as I look to retirement.  It begs the perfect Saturnian question: Are my dreams real? Which dreams can I realize?

In my mid 20′TreeEvs to early 30’s I rode a wave of art, music and love in Austin.  It was a time of energetic and fluid potential.   I valued time over money, (much as Frances Ha) living the halcyon days of my youth with carefree abandon. Those days of grasshopper summers are long gone. Several lifetimes later I roost above an open field, perched at the desk of my upstairs studio and seek a creative path forward. Deskview  As we age, nostalgia exudes a powerful scent, lulling the mind into reverie, often of the past rather than the future.  Are there fresh fields to plow, new adventures that decades of 40 hour work weeks have not entombed?  Saturn demands that we look to the present while incorporating the lessons of the past.  It is now that the spark of creativity ignites. We are admonished to stay active, to exercise and eat right and to maintain and cultivate new friendships.  Clearly, this is sage advice and research supports the crossword puzzle approach to mental acuity.  But dare we lose the mysterious beauty of life’s little delights?  I’m fortunate to have discovered digital photography in round two of my tango with the visual arts.  It’s easy to keep a small camera handy to capture often fleeting glimpses of beauty peeking out from behind the banal.  HatChairWhile not everyone gets excited about seeing a hummingbird tongue, it was a charming early morning novelty and one that I may never see again.  I do not underestimate the power of little victories or of nature’s desire for connection.  Going outside to smell the sweet grass, perfume rushing out with the rain – sublime.  It is that which seeps into my blood, calling my child into the present and reminding me to really be who I am on this earth.  Watching clouds sail through gorgeous blue skies hoists my soul like a kite, feeling the breeze caressing my body. rainfield When the senses grow weary and overwhelmed with media input – get thee outdoors.  I’m aware of the irony here, but my quest to reveal beauty in the little things is shared in good faith. beach featherThat sense of appreciation for life, the gratitude one feels when realizing how fortunate we are to live like kings and queens of yore, provides existential context.  Is this the fountain of youth? Perhaps so.  I do know that when I perceive a light infused scene or feel the light moving through me, I feel vibrantly alive.

So, while some see Saturn’s limitations, I see an opportunity to dig deep into the beauty of everyday life. It might not be exciting, but moments of opening, of appreciation and connection are food for the soul. Truly, in Beauty it is Finished.


Moved to tears

I sat in the morning sun watching the garden grow
Light glistening on spider webs
spun in moon’s rays just hours ago
Hummingbird gulps nectar
fueling its dizzy, spiraling flight

The light found me, seeping into my essence,
opening the eye that sees behind the veil
I saw the breath of earth, rising to meet radiating
needles of light, knitting the fabric of life
growing around and through me

So infused was I, witnessing this moment of creation
that tears fell softly down my cheeks
Moving beyond sorrow or joy
naked in the presence of my Soul

The breath and the light, commingling
In loving recognition that moments
such as these are rare glimpses beneath
the endless parade of dos and don’ts
that occupy our daily lives

In the garden, sipping the wine of early morning’s light
I am moved to see what loving hand molds
The day into being

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